Maybe you're a college student who has to move away from
your partner for school, or maybe you met someone new online who lives hundreds
of miles away. Long-distance relationships (LDRs) can be as difficult as they
are rewarding, regardless of your circumstances. Learn how to make an LDR work
for you and your partner so that you can thrive both together and apart.
What Is a Long-Distance Relationship?
A long-distance relationship (or LDR) is a romantic
relationship in which both partners live a long distance apart. This is in
contrast to geographically close relationships in which partners can interact
face to face on a regular basis. Long-distance dating relationships present
their own set of challenges, but with the right amount of effort from both
partners, it is entirely possible to make one work.
How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work
Keep the following tips in mind as you and your partner try
to stay close despite living in different places and even time zones:
1. Aim for moderate contact. Too little communication can
make your partner feel neglected, but too much communication can make them feel
suffocated. An endless barrage of text messages, for example, may appear
obsessive or overbearing. Start the day with a "good morning," and
then check in throughout the day. Finish the evening with a more in-depth
conversation and a heartfelt "good night" over the phone.
2. Communicate creatively. In the age of video chatting, you
can check in with your partner and feel as if they're right beside you. When
you can't talk face to face, use lulls in your day to reach out. For example,
if you commute, you could make a call on your way home from work. Make a plan
that works for both of you.
3. Consider relocation. At some point in your relationship, you
might benefit from discussing moving closer to each other. Uprooting your life
to be with a romantic partner is easier than ever, especially in an era when
remote work has become more common. Choosing to do so, however, can be financially,
emotionally, and socially challenging. Before making any moves, make sure you
and your partner have a solid foundation.
4. Engage in intimacy. You can flirt over the phone even if
you're thousands of miles apart. Maintain your romantic, sexual, and emotional
connection by talking intimately, but only when both of you are at ease. It may
take some getting used to, but indulging over the phone or using video chatting
software can help you keep your relational intimacy vital and exciting.
5. Maintain an independent life. Allow your partner to go about
their daily lives to keep the spark alive. In fact, give yourself the same
opportunity. Allow your loved one to spend time with friends and family while
also recharging on their own. On your own, practice self-care and positive
social interactions. Even though you're geographically separated, you can both
benefit from some alone time.
6. Send thoughtful gifts to each other. Little things can make
a big difference, especially when it comes to long-distance relationship
satisfaction. Use the postal service to send thoughtful gifts to your partner.
Couples who live close to or with each other frequently do not have the
opportunity to do so.
7. Share experiences from afar. Plan date nights where you and
your partner watch the same movie or play a game together. Choose an audiobook
or podcast to listen to in your spare time so you can discuss it together.
Similar interests can help you connect on a deeper level.
8. Steer clear of inappropriate situations. Respect your LDR
the same way you would any other romantic relationship. Put yourself in
potentially dangerous situations as much as possible. If you break your
commitment, your partner will lose trust and suffer excruciating emotional
pain. Maintain your commitment to each other and remain faithful.
9. Visit each other when possible. Long-distance couples can
still benefit from seeing each other in person on a regular basis. Depending on
your mutual intentions, these trips to spend time together can feel like
everyday occurrences or full-fledged vacations. Let's say you live in New York
and your partner lives in Los Angeles. Depending on how you both feel, you
could decide to visit all of the tourist attractions together or just stay at
home together.
10. Vocalize your needs. Inform your long-distance partner if
you're having a difficult time. Comforting and in-depth conversations, whether
in person or via video call, can have a significant positive impact on both
your own and your partner's well-being. Be aware of what your loved one
requires. Even if you can't be in the same city or state, be there for each
other.
