Grieving is never easy, but it is an unavoidable part of
life. You will experience loss at some point in your life. While you may want
to ignore or avoid these painful feelings, accepting and embracing all of the
highs and lows of grief will benefit you the most.
What Is Grief?
Grief is a natural reaction to significant loss of any kind.
It frequently refers to the period of mourning that follows the death of a
close friend, relative, or associate. Even so, you may experience grief and
other loss-related emotions after leaving or losing a job, breaking up with a
significant other, or receiving a dire health diagnosis. While grief is
unpleasant, it also teaches people about remembering, compassion, and inner
strength.
Causes of Grief
Grief can strike for a variety of reasons. Here are a few
examples of losses that may cause grief:
1. A loved one's death: The most common cause of grief is
the death of a loved one. It's difficult to comprehend how someone with whom
you shared so many happy and loving memories could have died. Grief support
groups can assist you in coping with this difficult transition.
2. A disease diagnosis: If you learn that you have a
terminal illness, you are likely to mourn your previous state of good health.
Some people may take their anger at such a diagnosis out on the medical
personnel who delivered the news, but learning to accept bad news is a sign of
resilience and maturity.
3. The end of a relationship: When a romantic relationship
ends, both parties often feel as if they are losing a piece of themselves. It's
possible that you'll experience regret or sadness in the future. Nonetheless, both
you and your previous partner have the potential to move on and find love with
new people.
4. Job loss: Assume your boss fires or dismisses you. This
precipitates a major life change that is likely to unsettle you in the short
term. In such a case, you can lament the loss of your previous level of
security while looking for new opportunities.
Types of Grief
Grief manifests itself in a variety of ways. Consider the
following variations on the feeling:
1. Complicated grief: A bereaved person may have mixed or
complicated feelings about a deceased loved one. Even if the deceased is a
family member, mourners may experience a mix of sadness and unresolved
resentment. This can complicate the grieving process even further.
2. Prolonged grief: For some people, grief can seem like an
endless process. While it's normal to be upset for a long time after a major
loss, you may be suffering from prolonged grief if you're still as upset years
later as you were when the news was first delivered.
3. Mass trauma and grief: Certain major events cause
widespread trauma and grief. Consider the September 11th attacks in the United
States, as well as the COVID-19 pandemic. People in these situations rely on
one another to help them overcome their mutual pain.
The 5 Stages of Grief
In her book On Death and Dying, psychiatrist Elizabeth
Kübler-Ross first described the five stages of grief. Some people will go
through these five stages in a straight line, whereas others may bounce back
and forth between them, skip a stage, or go through more than one at the same
time. Someday, you may find yourself experiencing grief in relation to the
following milestones:
1. Denial: When you suffer a major loss, it disrupts your
daily life. As a coping mechanism, it's natural to deny the reality of the
situation, either explicitly or implicitly.
2. Anger: As the emotional and physical symptoms of grief
begin to overwhelm you, you may find yourself lashing out. For example, you
could accuse your parents' caregivers of failing to keep them alive. This is
also the stage at which you are most likely to reflect on the fundamental
unfairness of mortality.
3. Bargaining: During this time, you're likely to spend a
lot of time wondering what you could have done differently. You make an effort
to alter an already permanent and irreversible situation.
4. Depression: At this point, all of the sadness caused by
the loss floods in without any filters. You become acutely aware of the
situation's permanence. During this time, you may benefit from the services of
a mental health professional.
5. Acceptance: Your grief experience may never be complete
because you will always miss the person or circumstance you lost in some way.
Nonetheless, in the acceptance phase, you return to a state of well-being as
you learn to cherish memories while moving on with your life.
How to Cope With Grief
Grief is a difficult and unpredictable experience. Consider
the following suggestions as you develop coping skills for dealing with grief
and bereavement:
1. Give yourself enough time. You will most likely be in
emotional pain for a long time as a result of your loss. Accept the highs and
lows for what they are. Allow yourself the freedom to feel all kinds of
emotions. All wounds will eventually heal with time.
2. Seek guidance. You are most vulnerable when you are
grieving. Contact caring friends and bereavement support groups. Consider
scheduling a therapy appointment as well.
3. Look after yourself. It's easy to let grief take over
your life, leading you to make unhealthy decisions that may exacerbate your
negative feelings. As time passes, continue to eat well, exercise, get enough
sleep, and practice self-care.
How to Help Someone Grieve
Those who are bereaved deserve all the help you can give
them. Keep the following suggestions in mind as you comfort them in their hour
of need:
1. Show your affection. Let the bereaved person know how
much you care in any way you can. Take it upon yourself to be present and
assist them in processing their loss for as long as it takes.
2. Provide tangible assistance. See if you can assist a grieving person with normal day-to-day tasks while they heal from a major loss. This could include running errands for them while they attend a support group, for example.
3. Be a listening ear. Many people cope with grief by talking about their experiences and emotions. Listen to friends and loved ones when they need you to help them through their own grieving processes.
